Mended

a random thought..

It has been quite sometime since I really feel overjoyed. My heart is so heavy. I can't quite remember when was the last time my heart leapt with such joy. Have I not overcome the things in this world and lived a victorious life? I do not know what I want. I don't know what God wants. It seems so unwise to shift my anger to God when He is the one whom I loved and walk closely, faithfully everyday. Yet, I feel betrayed sometimes. I have this urgency to tell.. but something in me tells me to keep it quiet. Confused. Grace - given freely. I need more grace. The wisest thing to ask for.

Mercy.

I told myself that I will never take God for granted.. yet unconsciously I do things to break His heart everytime. I tried. I am still trying.

My heart is mended. For now.

My life isn't mine anymore. To live is Christ, to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21)