Reflection or Deflection

Dear Roy..

Its been quite a ride since these couple of months. I complaint a lot. Not realizing the blessings that come along with its glory i should say. Okay, im just exaggerating it. Haha! Anyways, before i started my 2nd sem of this year i struggled with God. I was struggling quite a bit like how Jacob wrestled with God in the wilderness. I had a lot of questions. Questions that needed answers desperately. "Why is this happening, Lord? Where are you in times like these?" popped out almost every minute. My heart was crushed to bits and pieces not knowing that God has a better plans for me. In case if you can't remember, you were supposed to work in Infineon Malacca but yeah, thanks to that indian a**, you had to stay in college for 4 gawddamn months! When she said "No!!" the first time i asked, i sinked into depression and loneliness as i wanted to go back so desperately. 4 months at home seemed a long time for me. Not because im a homely person who loves home so much that i cannot stay elsewhere, but because i thought i could do God a favour in helping the church or occupy myself in teaching the kids in church so that they can be of value to God. Little did i know, God works miracles in His own time and He makes it perfect for our lives.. I met more friends and found a new home church! Work wasn't a good ride tho. I got stucked to a bunch of moron kids who didn't or still don't know the concept of growing up and the fact that they must work to earn good grades. Either that or they still think that life is a bed or roses(without thorns!). Anyway, church.. I must admit that ive been very critical in comparing whats there and whats here, forgetting or not knowing the fact that the church here in mlc is in crisis. I believe that all things are perfected in His own timing tho we may not know the reason why it happened. I found the very first reason why i loved Him. I found the meaning to really love God. I found the meaning of why do we love Him. I saw passion and true love. I found a reason to love God even more. Sometimes life can be as such that we find it so hard to comprehend; purpose and dreams. But however hard is life, it never fails to surprise us with its twist and turns. Rest assure, that God is all-knowing.

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now