I am BIGGER than my problem

the value of problems

Predictors - They help mold our future

Reminders - We are not self-sufficient. We need God and others to help

Opportunities - They pull us out of our rut and cause us to think creatively

Blessings - They open up doors that we usually do not go through

Lessons - Each new challenge will be our teacher

Everywhere - No place or person is excluded from them

Messages - They warn us about potential disaster

Solvable - No problem is without a solution

checking in..

a dull life..

It's been days since I am back home.

Lazy.

Sleep.

Eat and eat..

Depressed.

Bored.

Urgh..

Blerghh..

The theory of Love according to..

Just when you know it's Love..

When you think of your past love, you may view it
as a failure. In the game of love, it doesn't really
matter who won or who lost. What is important is
you know when to hold on and when to let go!

You'll never love a person you love unless you
risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you don't
get hurt, you don't learn how to love.

Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's
called falling in love because you don't force
yourself to fall. You just fall.

On falling out of love, take some time to heal and
then get back on the horse. But don't ever make
the same mistake of riding the same one that
threw you the first time.

Loving someone means giving him/her the freedom
to find his/her way, whether it leads towards you
or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but
the risk must be taken no matter how scary or
painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness
of humanity and that is love.

Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire
& tear you apart. Only love can make you cry
and only love knows why..


I can feel Love descending from up above.. hehe..

For Her..

I'm so in love with You..

Fascinated by Your beauty..
Captivated by Your love..
Intoxicated by Your faithfulness..
Forever will not be enough..
Perfect is Your love
I am overwhelmed by Your sweet presence..
Everytime when You walk in..
I am just taken by You..
Forever.. I'm held by Your love..

to You.. I surrender all

Is it me?.. or is it you?

i'm just so plain lazy..

Funny how I actually relate myself to this song.. It's just.. ironic.

"Maintain Consciousness"
Words and music by Michael Thiessen

Our concentration it contains a deadly flaw
our conversations change from words to blah, blah blah
we took prescription drugs but look how much good that did
well I think I had a point, but I just got distracted

Lately it just seems to me
like we've got the letters A.D.D.
branded into our mentality
we simply can't focus on anything

because its
17, 18, 19 routine
and here at 23 it's the same old me
and that one thing of the moment
that we all happen to like will
only very temporarily
kinda break the cycle
of the double edged sword
of being lazy and being bored
we just want more and more and more
till it's all we can afford

to keep our eyes open for just one more day
to keep on hoping that we'll stumble on a way
to keep our minds open for just one more day
cause its completely up to us
to maintain consciousness

well no one can possibly listen to this
more than 4 reps is just monotonous
we're losing interest, losing interest, losing interest

*It says a lot about me.. shame on me!!

Everything burns..

if I could find rest..

I haven't had enough time for almost everything. My time is like shorten by 6 hours a day! A traumatic week I have ever experienced my whole entire 21 years of life. It is so depressing to face this restless, hopeless pressure. Did you not know if you put pressure on a balloon, it would explode it due time? Likewise, I'm just waiting to explode. My life is so empty at this very moment.. the only reason I'm here is to prove to the world that I'm worthy to compete amongst the ruthless barbarians. How sick is that?

I'm so sick of this life.. Exam is like tomorrow and I fear I won't make it. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" Mark 14: 34a NIV.. Jesus felt it too before he was crucified..

I have been hit too many times this week. I am so tired. But God reminded me again.. "Come to me, all you who are heavy and burdened, and I will give you rest... For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28,30 NIV

I rest in You..

Sleep sweet my love..

*speechless..

He guides me..

Found this in Pastor Sivin Kit's blog.. He was 21 and a Pastor when I attended a christian camp back in 2000. Now, he's married with two very cute lil' kids and a beautiful wife. Pastor Sivin Kit is currently pastoring Bangsar Lutheran Church. Isn't it beautiful to know that God is always faithful? I am reminded today that He is always there for me. Today, after lunch I was supposed to go to the computer lab to print past year papers. And God was just so kind to provide me more than I could ever ask for.

A friend of mine offered to help.. this friend, his help doesn't come always. So whenever it comes, it is a miracle and should say 'yes'. Like I said, he offered and printed for me. Whoaaaaa.. to my surprised, he didn't complain at all but helped me with glad heart. Thanks David! I was overjoyed. Save cost. Save energy. Everything was provided. hehe..

God is amazing. Funny how God works in his miraculous ways, and He is always faithful. Through the years, I have seen how He has change me as a person. He picked me up everytime when i fall, consciously and unconsciously. I have seen people changed. My environment changed. I am more teachable than before. I have learnt to accept changes and adapt quickly in it. I am more flexible in a way or another. I believe we must allow changes to do its work in us in order for us to face circumstances, problems and waves of persecution that are thrown in our direction everyday. Changes made because of pressure or circumstances will only last, if not long, for a moment. But in all this, God still remains the same. Isn't that a comfort to know? Friendship is always capable to hurt and destroy.. which shows how fickle and evil this world has become. But friendship with Him has never disappointed me before. "Everything I need is You.. My beginning, my forever.."

I have so much to do. So much to think of. So much to attend to. If only I could just be free and loose and not do anything. I feel rather empty. God help me!

Exam is next week.. I just wanna get it over with. Can't wait.

This is what God said to Joshua.. the many promises said to him, I like this one best..
"No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1: 5 NIV

That's my prayer for next week.. Stay with me in the exam hall, Lord. Amen.

Gotta sleep. Sleep sweet You.

I depend on Him alone..

read between the lines..

As I was listening to my playlist of songs last week, I got into this horrible boredom I have never felt before and guess what? I tuned in to the radio stations. Never knew they have christian radio stations on windows media player.. and this song came up. It was from Brian Littrell of Backstreet Boys.. he has such a soft heart that I could sense his passion for God when he sung this song.. and he has already signed up with a record company and will be releasing his first solo christian album this fall.. for more information, do research. :P

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope

Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

*"And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord"

this line really captivates me.. and gives me a new perspective of life..

Another day goes by..

Scrutiny of the frivolous heart.

Whoaaa.. today was another boring day. But I've learnt to be more thankful than before. heck! I am thankful that I was born and bred here. I am thankful that I have hands and feet to live as normal beings. I am thankful I can see and speak. God's very gracious today. *whispers a prayer softly* fear of failing and exam phobia are quietly setting in.. and I haven't been doing anything since last week. damn I gotta get things started. About today..

• woke up late because I slept late. Need to get more sleep.

• skipped class. Who the hell cares anyways..

• got my pathetic assignment back. Disappointed. Told myself to work harder after this.

• I have a feeling I'm somewhat in charged at certain phase of my life.

• I rubbed my ego on everyone.

• I realized the more 'berjaya' people are, the more pride they have. And they don't seem to care at all. that sucked.

• heard stories from nigeria which I will tell later.

• soaked and drained in sweat. but I do not smell.

• grateful and thankful that I am still alive and breathing today.

God is truly gracious and his mercy is sufficient.. truly Jehovah Jireh..

*poof*

hehehuhuhoho

i am really bored.. heehee

...

feelin'..

Bored!!

Oh well..

13.July.2005

I have one before this one came up.. There is no specific reason to state on why I decided to start on one. But I would have to leave it to me to continue piling up stories for Her..

Oh well.. gotta get some sleep. sleep sweet.